Life gives me turns, if that is love, I don’t want to know hate, sometimes I feel like he just used me, but denying is also bad, for a few minutes, I felt loved, I got to feel his love, but it was as short as a dead person’s life expectancy, null.
I’ll make love to you, he told me. I felt desired, what society dictated was achieved, having a partner was common, for him to stay with me, impossible.
It started slowly, I didn’t even know what I was doing, yes, I was conscious, and I allowed it myself, I told him: Finish quickly, they’re waiting for me at home.
He respected it, he didn’t complain, I won’t deny it, I had as much fun as a child in a playground, I felt the atmosphere take over me.
I was just doing my part, he did his, we reached the highest point, I was still scared, I would feel mad if I had done the forbidden without a marriage before. It was him and I, alone on the flat, being ourselves without distractions, but he did know, he was conscious of everything, in fact, he knew more, how he did it, I felt comfortable.
After all, I asked him: Did I seem too easy? He looked away, he told me: I saw you as different, but not easy.
He dropped me off at my house and I askede.
Who I am?